Fight Club vs Bike Club!

Yes that's right "Fight Club" v.s. "Bike Club" 

It all started with the Timing Belt going out on my Isuzu Trooper and not having any transportation, while it was in the shop being fixed. I thought it would only take a day to get sorted out, but owning an Imported truck means waiting for a part to be ordered from the Dealer. A mere few days, perhaps a week? Who really knows? 

So I thought walking would be good. The first day I needed food, so of course I had to walk to get it, only I cheated and took the bus. ("The Shame Train, as Tavis calls it!"). 

Next since I was bore and decided I wanted a movie to watch, but there were No Video Stores in that direction and it Forced me to have to walk all the way to "Circuit City". This is only 3 blocks away, but hell I still didn't want to have to walk there. Gee, I must be getting Lazy in my old age! 

Then here I was at work yesterday after having to walk all the way there from home. It took about 50 minutes and felt like it was Uphill all the way, maybe I should quit smoking? When I got there I had worked up a sweat and my legs were quite sore and I was really too tired to work and told my Boss that. 

You know that went over pretty well. She told me walking was good for me, to get my arse in gear and to put a sock in it! 

Okay I did, . . . 
but I did'nt see how a sock hanging out my butt was going to help me. 

Anyway, later in the day I got a ring from a friend who heard about my demise of being without a vehicle, who then said he was going to swing by and drop off his 12 Speed Mountain bike for me to ride home on. 

Boy O boy, I have not been on a bike sine a wee lad on a tricycle and even that had training wheels. Was this going to be fun? An adventure? I was'nt really sure as I looked at the clock ticking down to quitting time. 

As I left work and tried to mount up on the bike, I realised there had to be a seat adjustment made. This bike was either made for a Japanese bloke or my really long legs needed to be cut down to size. okay, I figured out how to raise the seat with a quick lock, but needed to hang onto something while I climb up on it now. 

Once on top of the seat I thought to myself, how do I get my feet into these little peddle things. You see I noticed that the peddles had some sort of straps or stirrups that held your feet in place while you rode. 

Now I was off peddling my ass all over town, no that's not quite right. I headed home and decided to make a quick call to Tavis in the hospital. He told me to have "Fun" riding my bike and to buy him the NHL 2007 game for his X-Box 360. This meant I had to drop by the "Game Stop" on my way home. (Oh yeah, side note: Don't ride a bike and talk on your cell phone at the same time, as you may have a close encounter with a car like I did). 

While I was at the Game Stop looking at various Video Games, delaying the time to have to get back on this bike that I almost killed myself on. I saw this movie called: "Fight Club" with Brad Pitt in it. 

Now Tavis has told me to get this movie, ever since it has came out. Only I never did. The closest I ever got to purchasing the movie was buying the Video Game version of it for the Play Station2. I could not understand what the game had to relate to me about. But Tavis said get the movie, something about it reminded him of me? 

Okay, I didn't buy him the game. "Sorry Tav" But I did BUY the movie and ran from the store with such excitement of finding it and rode off in the direction of traffic, in the hopes of making it home faster than walking! 

Turning onto 41st Avenue and then going across the Hiway 1 bridge, it donned on me that this was "Rush Hour" traffic! The Commute home meant certain death for a person not surrounded by metal protection of a vehicle. I got off my bike and walked across the bridge, to escape being flatten like a pancake by cars whizzing by trying to make the On-Ramp of the Freeway. 

It was getting dark now and the Sun would be down in 15 minutes. I had no blinking red light on the back of me, no head light to see in front of me either. Wearing a black jacket, I'm sure I could be seen quite clearly by people driving by and over me. 

But I made the mistake of getting back on the bike after crossing the bridge and as I rode on home and turned on Soquel Drive, there is a big hill that goes down to Rodeo Gulch road. There is a Stop light there and cars were stopping for it and I was going too fast! Brakes! oh how do I use brakes? 

I remembered at the last moment and came to such a sudden stop, that i could not get my tennis shoes out of these damn stirrups and the bike promptly fell over with me still attached to it. 

Placing my hands out to cushion the fall, I received Road Rash and a bruised butt and might have well cracked my head open as I had no helmet on either. 
I heard the people through the opened car window next to me say: "Look at that guy, he's drunk and fell over" "He has no business being on a bike and look the light turned green honey." They then drove away, leaving a bloody heap in the road that was me. 

To say the least, I made it home and after dinner I put in the movie "Fight Club" to watch. This was much easier to do than ride a bike! 

Now I am trying to Understand how this Movie relates to me. Am I supposed to be Brad Pitt or the other guy telling the story? 

Maybe I am the guy who starts out the movie telling the story of how he has "Insomnia" and cannot sleep. He flys all over the place and says from one airport to the next, he is either gaining time or losing it. 

He goes to a doctor for help and some drugs, but the doctor will not give him any. He pleads with the doctor that he is in pain and the doctor tells him if he really wants to see people in pain, to go every Tuesday night to the therapy group for men who have Cancer of the Testicals! (oooh ouch! that sums up pain for me!). 

He goes there and meets a guy named BOB who was once a body Builder, (but now without balls) he has developed the Largest Man boobies I have ever seen! 

to be continued later... 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Doing Laundry on a Boat

More Adventures, A Father's Day to Remember!